xxxix. Guest Blogger: “J”6 December 2007 at 16:42 | Posted in Circadian rhythm | 1 Comment
Tags: Guest blogger, Non-24
Every now and then, someone on the mail list for DSPS and Non-24 just says it so well, often in a rant. I fell for this one by J., who has Non-24-hour sleep-wake syndrome. By permission:
It’s so funny to me how many things I keep on finding out might be related to my Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorder that I always thought were just “quirks” of mine. First of all the odd sleeping, of course, but also the fact that I am always cold when no one else is… I always thought that I just had “temperature regulation” problems, for no specific reason. And it wasn’t a big deal, but EVERYONE always commented on it. Once in my very FIRST meeting with a new psychiatrist (bounced from neurology, of course) he mentioned it and then perhaps took it as a sign of my psychosis. Right, bro, right. How about I HAVE A CIRCADIAN RHYTHM DISORDER. Gahhhh.I have also been accused of wearing long sleeves in the summer just to hide track marks (yep, I’m a lazy, psychotic heroin addict now).
I am so sick of people viewing me as crazy and lazy, which, seriously, has been the case since this whole n24 thing hit when I was a teenager.
But now at least I KNOW and can EXPLAIN how maybe I’m not lazy after all. And, no, not a junkie either! In fact the ones feeding me the drugs… who was that?! DOCTORS.
My sleep will never be normal. Trying to force it with daily drugs, morning and night, was wrong. Maybe my neurology in general will never be normal. My perception may never be normal.
I have finally started to accept it because that is the right thing to do. The doctors need to get on board with this if they want to “do no harm”.
And thanks for reading this far, if anyone did.